Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
