careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
