you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
