I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
