u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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