Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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