We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
