so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
