I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
