i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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