Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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