Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize