So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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