Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
