Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
