And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
