There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
