I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
