so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
