On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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