i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize