how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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