got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
