I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
