You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
