is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
