Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dick very happy bro
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize