Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just had sex bonerless
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
