i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
