Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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