i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize