Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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