"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
