I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
