she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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