areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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