I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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