This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
