new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
