i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
