were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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