A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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