what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
