a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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