six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
