Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had to coat check the pizza.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
