Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
