So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
