No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
