I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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