I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
