Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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