I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
is it fun? or sober?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
