i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
