clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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