i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
