Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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