I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
