It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
