There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
